New Moon
July 24, 2006, PDT
July 25, 2006, EDT
2 Leo 7′

You’ve got to take the chance and get into the dance. It’s driving you crazy, this hanging out on the periphery, not engaged or involved. Scared to risk. Scared to look like a fool.

I want to live! You can be heard saying.

Oh, but Lord, should I? Can I? Will I? Do I have it? Do I have the stuff? I want it. Life, I mean. I want it. What do I have to do?

I have to let myself go. I’ve got to do my best, put on my best show, the one that I feel most intensely, that to which I am dedicated. I have wanted this my whole life, you can be heard to say, especially if you are in your 50’s and 60’s. I have to put my energy where my mouth professes, even the silent speech of my thoughts.

I’ve got to shine. Gotta take my little light and offer it big time, not over the top big, but all there big. No withholding

Let me not take the easy way out. Let me not escape my life, leaving my meat for the cleanup birds. As long as I have the gift of breath, let me honor it by living on purpose.

It is so easy to doubt, to hang back instead of having back. . .bone, instead of standing up, standing for, being a glory unto your own glory.

The above illustrates Saturn in Leo Square Jupiter in Scorpio (and a hint of the opposition to Neptune). This is how these planets are related in the sky and they occupy three houses (arenas, subjects) of your personal map. Leo begins the urge to be your authentic self, to say something, to shine, to perform, to love.

Saturn is the principle of contraction and can make you doubtful and cautious wherever it transits. It can cause your inner critic to snipe at you and tell you that you don’t have it and never will. It can tell you that you have been hurt enough and that your heart needs walls. (Watch out, hardening of the arteries!) It can tell you that you just ought not to put out your creative effort and possibly fall short.

On top of this, Jupiter in Scorpio ups the feeling of desire. Jupiter in Scorpio says, I want it big and I want it big time. I want it emotionally. Oh give me higher love and passion. Serve up some ecstasy over here please. Take me to the brink that makes me feel alive.

Scorpio says, I need others. I need to bind with them and blend with them and be accepted, oh please not rejected, by them. I need water, something to quench me, something I can feel.

Then Saturn in Leo thinks, if I put it out there, it might get ravaged. Then again, if I put it out there, it might quench a thirst, mine, and another’s.

Aries wants to be its best self. Leo wants to make that self count. That means someone or something else has to be fed, served or pleased (Scorpio).

The basic Leo-Scorpio conflict is I have to do it my way and be who I am (Leo), but I need you to accept me, support me, return my affections, be intimate with me and give me (Scorpio). I need you to know me and still love me.

(Remember that your personal map has all 12 signs of the zodiac.)

The reward for putting it out there, being all you can be, letting your light shine, offering your talent and precious substance (Leo), is the emotionally adjusted self who relates and is related to. (Scorpio)

The way to do Saturn in Leo is to have heart and courage and light. Be bold. Be innocent. Be playful. Be expectant. Be joyous. Radiate. Risk.

I saw a show called “Monique’s Fat Chance” on cable TV recently, a beauty pageant for plus-sized women. I could tell that some of the finalists just did not think that they had “it” and so they were basically shy as they modeled. They walked and moved impeded. They looked like they were just afraid to lay it out, like they were thinking, “fat chance” with the usual meaning. When they reduced the 10 to 5, I knew who had ruled themselves out of the top 5.

Don’t rule yourself out. Don’t act shy. Don’t act like you know that you don’t have it, but you just want to kinda try. Go for it. Fake it till you make it. Shake it ‘til you bake it. Bring your “A” Game. Don’t let ‘em see you sweat. Be bold. Be on fire. Say, I am the hope and the glory. This is my signature. Remember my name. I am staking my claim on my land, my spot—my light.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 at 1:44 pm and is filed under Lunations 2006. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.