Archived Lunations:
Between You and a Good God
Full Moon
June 30, 2007
8 Capricorn 25′
Your public self and your private self are connected by your subconscious self. The subconscious self is below your conscious awareness, but it has a pure memory that is the intelligence that connects you with all of your experiences. You are Adam - Aleph, Daleth, Mem, All, Imagining, Sea. You are you and me and Bush, and Oprah, and better and worse. None of us gets to get off the responsibility boat, and whenever you try to escape what is direct, honest and true in you, you find yourself eaten by the great fish, swallowed up in a life at war, commanded by predators and exploiters. You find yourself a victim. You are helpless. You don’t have a say.
Listen. If you want to self determination, listen. Be still and know. Don’t go left or right or up or down. Just sit. Settle. Be at the fulcrum of the pendulum that is your life with its swings and slings. Don’t be afraid of the dark.
The Higher Mind that you have access too, exists in the world of your closed eyes. You have to close your eyes in order to see the light. You have to close your eyes in order to find the strength to bring truth out from the chaos of lies you will otherwise find yourself adrift in, locked in the belly of the whale, wailing, “Why hast Thou forsaken me?”
And Thou says, “You talkin’ to me? Oh. Do you know me? You know that I AM? You ignore me. You pretend to be ignorant.
“Your favorite words when you are caught in your own lies, are, ‘I don’t know.’ Your second favorite words are, ‘I can’t.’”
When you say, “I don’t know”, you are pulling an Adam blaming Eve, Self blaming Sub. This is Adam counting on the darkness, counting on the idea that the person witnessed to wasn’t there, counting on the fact that others use ignorance as an excuse and might therefore buy his excuse.
What if we did not let each other use ignorance as an excuse that makes us not a part of the cause. If you are not part of the cause, you are not part of the picture of the way things look. You are not part of the problem, and therefore cannot be counted on for the solution. Into the sea of the lost you go, to be swallowed up by the whale. And you can stay 40 days or 40 years. Point. Blame. Excuse yourself. Be a victim.
Every problem in your life is a problem that you are a part of. If you solve your part, the whole problem is solved, even though others have their own parts.
I was telling someone recently that he had to stop being a victim. In 30 years I have watched his life go from hard to harder, to breaking up and breaking down. Every job he lost, was someone else’s mismanagement or hostility. The dissolution of his marriage was not his doing and the distancing of his children wasn’t either.
“How do you stop being a victim?” He asked.
“Make everything that you experience between you and God.” I told him.
Know that everything you experience is ultimately good for you. Forget the people that you are fighting with. They are not command central for your life. Command central is within you, within your grasp, your heart and your mind. And if you keep pretending that you have no headquarters from which to receive orders because you actually just don’t want to march to them, well, into the sea of subconsciousness - “I don’t know,” I can’t control,” you go.
God is Good. Good is God. I am, you are, a “center of expression for the primal will-to-good”. This good does eternally and without ceasing, “create and sustain the universe”.
Make sure you have a good God, not one that makes your life a living hell because you just can’t seem to get it right. You are a child of God. If child abuse isn’t right for your mother, it isn’t right for your God.
Stepping away from God/Good at your core, is like letting go of the hand of your mother and running out into traffic. That is the sin. Separating yourself from your inner guidance is the cause of your suffering. Foolishly, like Adam, you disobey and hope you can hide out by saying, “I don’t know” and trying to take fig-leaf-cover. Unnecessary, and in vain. You cannot run or hide.
You need not run or hide. Good is there. Like the Sun, it does not remove itself, nor allow the earth or planets to deviate from their circular course about it. Good is there, present, real, not needing to forgive you because it has not condemned you. You imagine it.
When you turn yourself over to a good and helpful God/Goddess, you know that there is something orderly about any relationship that is negative, and that as ugly and gripping as your drama (or lack of drama) might be, you can turn this lead into gold.
Make everything you experience between you and a Good God. Be still. Allow yourself to be still and listen. Be unafraid of the dark. Be unafraid of sickness or death or punishment. Fear not. Be created with bold strokes of love.