Full Moon
October 25, 2007
2 Taurus 23

Die not. Grow not.

Are you afraid that your good is going to die? It is not. We need to die in order to live. We need to let die in order to have life more abundantly. If we did not eliminate from our bowels and our bladders, our body could not be sustained. We would literally be backed up.

If you feel death and loss going on, surrender to it like you surrender to your bowels and your bladder. Just remember that what is dying no longer serves you. Let it go so that you will no longer be constipated.

Once upon a time, I had a dance with a skeleton. It was an act of imagination because I thought I was on the brink of humiliating failure and I had been listening to a tape of Clarrissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run with the Wolves) that my friend Michele had given me. Clarissa told stories involving skeletons that were animated and chased the man or woman to represent the fear of death. In one story a skeleton woman seems to pursue a fleeing fisherman, but she is tangled in his net, and row as he might, he drags her along.

So I got the idea to embrace death in an imaginary dance. It was not easy for me to make myself do this in my imagination, to hold the fleshless bones and be near the hollowed head, and to rub my hand upon its cold round hardness, but I did it to because running from the shame of impending financial dissolution and its attendant shame was too painful.

I was going to become a ward of my younger brother, I feared, because I could not pay my rent. I was going to possibly lose my car, too, and the mobility it represented. So I danced with the skeleton. I said, come on death. Take me in your bony arms. Let us dance together. I am not too good to fail. Maybe I made a mistake to follow a dream to have a life powered by beauty instead of duty. The loss did not come. Change did come. I took a job I didn’t really want, just to pay the bills.

I didn’t go into the job world in the same old way. This time I got a talisman, a handbook called, The Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles. I got a new way of life and a new way to work. I have a rich life that is getting richer. I did not have to move into my brother’s home. I did not lose my car. I did not have to hang my head in shame. I was not afraid of death and death did not come. Increased stability did come.

I learned some lessons that I needed to learn, and I am still learning. If you are afraid, do not succumb to it. Do not be scared to death only to find that what did you in was your fear, not the object. Get up the courage to dance with the bones, as a symbolic act of embracing your fears. This is simply an initiation, an opportunity to manage the dark side, the things you are afraid of that chase you relentlessly anyway. Stake your life on the sure foundation of eternal being. There is always another step possible. You shall change and not die.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 at 7:14 pm and is filed under Lunations 2007. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.