Archived Lunations:
Effort or Instrument?
New Moon
May 24, 2009
3 Gemini 28’
You gotta know when to hold ‘em,
Know when to fold ‘em,
Know when to walk away,
Know when to run.
But how you gonna know if you don’t run head on sometimes and find out what is right or wrong by the feedback? If you pay attention, you learn the game as you play. Right now you get better information from your impulses than from over thinking, worrying, and counting the cost. It is better to think that you are connected to a limitless source of supply and all you have to do is form a clear thought of continuous supply, than to think that you have to save for a rainy day and getting gloomy as if it’s raining now.
It is very important that you manage your emotions right now by keeping yourself up and pumped and positive. “I can” creates energy. I can. I can. I can. The opposite creates inertia, an energy that causes you to stop. You fold a winning hand. You walk away when you should walk one more step. You run from when you should be running toward.
I believe original sin is a drama that operates in the inner lives of individuals. Original sin is not being who you are, deviating from your source because something suggests that integrity is expedient or you don’t have to work that hard or you don’t have to be honest. We deviate from being honest individually and collectively share in the chaos that results.
As T.S. Elliot said, “We must live our lives congruent with our consciousness, a condition of utmost simplicity, costing not less than everything.” Most of us, me included, balk at the possibility of the simplicity that costs everything. Who’s willing to pay everything? Who thinks it is possible? We become so accustomed to deviating, ducking, dodging, and denying, that simplicity is complicated. Honesty is threatening.
There’s no safety in ignorance. Entertain simplifying your life by being true to yourself. And you can’t be true if you don’t step outside the box sometimes and dare.
Do you trust yourself? You are off kilter when you don’t trust yourself. You close your eyes and ears. Rather than make the wrong decision, you make no decision. You do not want to look or listen. You just close your eyes tight, let life push or pull you here or there, and hope for the best.
Yet intelligent surrender is necessary. Perhaps the important difference is whether you are surrendering to a blind force or an intelligent one. Is the surrender out of fear or out of trust?
Recently I tried to get the stuck screen of my balcony open. It had been stuck for months and I decided to apply some force to move it. It didn’t budge. So I examined it top and bottom, knowing that the screen must be off its track. Yes. That seemed to be the problem, but I could not move it at all. Then I heard myself thinking. “Force and strength are not going to accomplish it.” So I tried again without exerting force. The screen slid easily back on track.
Something said, “Mark this.” So I have been paying attention to the exertion of force in my life. Where was I pushing, instead of being and instrument?
There’s a thin line between effort and instrument. Effort and instrument must combine where all things combine, at the center, in the middle, wiggling together like the twin snakes, not two, but one, parallel with no space between them. Sometimes effort takes the lead and you put your back into it, sometimes instrument takes the lead. You relax to get it. But no matter which is leading or showing at a given time, it is best to consider that we are always filled with the one life. We accomplish nothing by our own efforts. We accomplish, not through will, but through willingness.